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Today's stories [6.2.20]

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I wanted to make an impression at a family reunion and remember the 
names of all of the new husband's family members.  There was one 
gent whom I'd asked his name and tried very to remember but failed 
repeatedly.  Finally he bailed me out and said his name was Dick.  
Without a thought I quickly said, "Gosh, how could I forget?  You 
*look* like a 'Dick'!!!"

1. 




On our last vacation, my wife and I saved some money by staying in
a cheap hotel. Just as we were falling asleep, we heard the sounds
of mattress springs and a banging headboard from the next room.

At first we were amused by the amorous couple.
After five minutes it had lost its charm.
After ten minutes we were getting pretty annoyed, in that it was
keeping us awake.
After fifteen minutes, we were just plain ticked off.

After half an hour we were pretty damned impressed. 

2. 




I was shopping and saw the Hi-C candy canes. I
thought they'd taste good so I looked at the flavors."  The box
said there were four:  Cherry, Orange, Lemon, and Green.
Green???

3. 



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