Today's poems [6.12.20]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

There was a young fellow named Malcolm 
            Who dusted his ass-hole with talcum. 
                He'd always use it 
                Everytime that he shit, 
            And found the sensation quite welcome. 

            A big bollocksed dancer, Durango, 
            Had trouble while dancing Fandango, 
                The blood from his twirls 
                Overfilled the guys pearls 
            Which swelled to the size of a mango. 

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable.
One night by the moon,
She pulled out a spoon
And drank herself under the table. 

                    A Chinaman hailing from Woozee
                            
                    Once laid an American floozie.
                            "How different," he cried,
                            As he slid it inside,
                            
                    "To diddle a vertical coozie!"
                            
                                              

Fuck me quick, fuck me deep, fuck me oft
In the bog, in the bath, in the loft;
Up my ass, up my quim.
Knees, armpits, lip rim
With your prick...but *please*...nothing soft. 

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   June '20 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30