Today's jokes [6.28.20]
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There is 2 fags walking down the beach. They are holding hands and
kicking the sand with their feet. One happens to kick a lamp that is
lying buried in the sand. He pick it up and starts to clean it off.
All of a sudden a Genie comes out of the lamp.
Genie, " Man, I don't believe it. I have stuck in that bottle for 2
thousand years and the first person to come along and find me is a
fag. I am suppose to give you 3 wishes but I just can't do it. I won't
even give you 2. I will give you one wish and that is it. What will it
The 2 fags are excited about getting their wish but couldn't come up
with what they wanted to wish for on such short notice.
Fag1 says," Could you give us just a little time to think about it? I
mean one wish we need a little time."
The Genie looks down and says, "Alright you can take as long as you
want but I am not going to stay here until you come up with it. I just
can't stand the sight of you two. Whenever youmake me your mind just
wish for it and it will done."
At that moment the Genie grabs his bottle and flys off into the sky.
Well the two fags decide that they will go back to the motel room and
decide on what they will wish for. Once they got back their emotions
took over and they starting doing all that fag stuff.
Right as they were getting into it, the door of their room gets busted
down and 6 men in white sheets come in. They grab the fags and throw a
rope around their necks.
Fag1 looks at Fag2 and says, " You know this might be a good time use
Fag2 says, "I already made it."
Fag1 " What the hell did you wish for?"
Fag2 " Well, I wish that we were hung like two niggers."
The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey--Nice bike!
Where did you get it?" "Well," replies the other, "I was walking to
class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this
bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'you can
have ANYTHING you want!'" "Good choice," says the first guy, "her
clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway.
Did you hear about Tempura House?
It's a shelter for lightly battered women.
Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses (viri?) do:
1. They replicate quickly -- okay, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system
as they do so -- okay, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk -- okay,
Windows does that, too.
4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable
programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.
5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too
slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with
Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental
differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are
running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and
efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they
So, Windows is *not* a virus.
One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume
party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the
doorman would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie
As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane"
and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of
underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.
"Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman. Having
ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the
local university CS department The doorman asked "How
shall I announce you?"
The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation"
"I'm very sorry sir", said the doorman in obvious shock, "I
cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering."
"O.K." said the professor. "Just say I came in my pants"
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