Today's jokes [6.21.20]
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A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by
the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human
brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive
intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it
attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, constantly making
the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go duck hunting.
He tells his wife, "You've got three choices; you can go duck hunting
with me, I'll do ya anally or you can give me a blowjob. I'm gonna
load up the truck and get the dog out. Make up your mind before I get
Hubby returns twenty minutes later and says, "Well what's it gonna
She say's, "There's no way I'm going duck hunting and you're not doing
my ass so I guess it's a blowjob."
A couple minutes later she starts choking and spitting and says,
"Jesus, you taste like shit."
"Oh yeah," he replies, "The dog didn't want to go duck huntin'
Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?
Scared the hell out of the dog.
Henry Abel's son, David, burst into the house, crying like everything.
His Mama asked him what the problem was. "Pop and I were fishing, and he
hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while reeling it in, the line
busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a
big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You
should have laughed." "That's what I did, Mama."
When a man takes off his pants in a hotel room,
what's the first thing to hang out?
The DO NOT DISTURB sign!
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