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Today's jokes [5.6.20]

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   Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn,
   licking his balls.
   
   One guy says to the other, " Man, I sure wish I could do that".
   
   The other guy says, " Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"
   


1. 




Q: What do you call a black smurf?
A: A smigger.


2. 




A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm when
one day he walks out behind the barn and sees his
grandfather playing with himself.
The boy says, "What are you doing grandpa, jacking off?"
Grandpa replies, "No sonny, just jacking!"

3. 




Q: Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the toy store?

A: She was caught sitting on Pinocchio's face and shouting
   "Lie lie lie!"


4. 




The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.

"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."

"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown
and sit a while till the sarge gets back."

"But, officer, I think you really should know..."

"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."

5. 



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