Today's quotes [3.9.20] Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
Hi. I'm here to pick up the Pope's Superbowl tickets - Ave. Hic adsum ad tesseras pontificis maximi Colosseo Maximo tollendas.
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear. - Te audire non possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. -- Jason B. Standing, Esq.
"Every cloud has a silver up the creek without a paddle horse." -- A bunch of people, via Jason B. Standing, Esq.
"... he repeats until he fails, half a goon and half a god, a man's not made of steel..." -- Devo, "Gates of Steel"
"The knowledge that one is to be hanged in the moring sharpens one's mind considerably"
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31