Today's quotes [3.13.20]

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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not
found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the
door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone
her with stones that she die...

                                                 -- Deuteronomy 22:20-21

What do you mean, funny?  Funny-peculiar
or funny-ha-ha?
                                -- Ian Hay, THE HOUSEMASTER,
                                   Act III (1936).

I am rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

                                -- Edward Moore (1712-1757)
                                   THE GAMESTER, II, 2 (1753).

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