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Today's jokes [3.26.20]

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Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, 
"Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to 
lose my fucking arse."
Too late he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. 
Immediately, he apologized for his bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied,
"If I don't sell more arse this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car."

1. 




A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an 
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she 
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.  So 
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. 

She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you 
done that and what are you praying for?"

The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 
years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the 
brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come 
back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from 
the earth."

The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come 
here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she 
asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."

2. 




AND YET ANOTHER DRUMMER JOKE!

What did the drummer get on his IQ test? 

Drool.

3. 




As the end of the day drew near, the handsome executive 
called his newly hired assistant into his office. "Do you know 
what time we quit around here ?" he asked.

"Sure !" the girl nervously giggled. "Whenever somebody 
knocks on the door."



4. 




When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget? 

When they are slow dancing and he tells her how nice her hair smells. 

5. 



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