Today's jokes [3.20.20]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a
rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it.
Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and
said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."
Little Freddie said to Little Johnny, "My dad's tougher than your dad!"
"Oh yeah?" said Little Johnny, "My dad is so tough, he has lightbulbs for
Yeah, the other night I heard him tell my mom, 'Turn out the light, I
wanna eat it!'"
Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps?
A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married.
I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to
The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."
One doc operated on a person for a hernia. He opened his testis and took
the balls out and kept it on the table. At the end of the operation he
wanted to put his balls back into the pouch of testis. He searched
operation theatre but could not find the balls of the patient. Lastly he
told nurse to get two small onions from his lunch box as he cannot keep
his testis pouch empty.
After that operation he met the same patient in a garden for morning walk.
Being a good doc, he asked his patient how he is feeling now.
He said "Doc everything is fine, life is very cool except that whenever I
scratch my balls, my eyes start watering."
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29