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Today's jokes [3.2.20]

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How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?

When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo 

1. 




What's a blonde's mating call? 

     I think I'm drunk. 

2. 




Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.

Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!

Judi: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.

Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.

Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

3. 




Lesbians can also take Viagra. 
They don't have to swalow it, they just let it melt in their tongues. 

4. 




These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is
barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is
looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on
someone's front lawn.

"Look", he shouts "What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?"
The passenger, being a man of the world, replies "They are having sex.
Don't tell me that you have never had sex doggie style before?"

The driver, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has never had sex
doggie style. So the passenger says, "You have to try it. Its pretty
cool. Here's what you do. Tonight when you get home, fix your wife
a margarita and then suggest that you want to try this new sexual
position."

The driver thinks a bit and then decides he will give it a
try. The next morning, the two commuters are back in the car and the
passenger asks, "Well, how did it go?" To which the driver replies, "It was
great.
But it took me 6 Margaritas just to get her on the front lawn."

5. 



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