Today's stories [2.18.20]
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This one lady was telling the judge how her husband was
abusive to her on several occasions and how fearful she was for
her life. She was seeking a restraining order. The judge
granted the order. The bailiff asked if she needed an escort to
her car, since her husband was in the courtroom with her. She
said, 'No, he's my ride home.'
My friend was always teasing me about cybersex and trying
to lead me on. One day he wrote a really racy letter so I
decided to "call his bluff". Forgetting I'd deleted his letter
out of habit, I accidently responded to my Recipe Du Jour list
instead and wrote: "Thanks a lot. Now I can't get any work
done. My panties are wet from the anticipation of your next
email." A gentleman wrote back: "Sorry, I didn't realize
salsa had such an effect."
Only in Merry Olde England
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat
and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why
he acted in such a manner. His reply was:
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming
Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read
"Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when
she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick
Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when
on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read
"Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."
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