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Today's jokes [2.16.20]

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   A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a
   giraffe walked in.
   "Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try
   your luck?" replied
   the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to
   her. Within five
   minutes they're out the door and into the night. The next day, the
   lion was drinking in the
   bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out,
   and can hardly hold
   himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink
   down his throat and
   said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the
   giraffe, what happened
   after that? Was she all right?"
   The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to
   dinner, had a couple
   of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the
   night. And oh, man!
   I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so
   exhausted?" asked
   the lion. "Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the
   screwing, I must have run a
   thousand miles!"
   


1. 




One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants,

and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his

penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor

says, "I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some 

medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give you

something else." So clinton takes the perscription and takes the 

pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician 

then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in

3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription

he gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says,"Rub this 

around the offending circle and come back tomorrow. Clinton 

returns the next day and starts shouting, "Wow! That stuff was

terriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!"

The docter then calmly replied; Lipstick remover.
 
Sent by Bradley

2. 




This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She
asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards -- something
unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -- "Happy
Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry."

The blonde replied, "How cool! I'll take the whole box!"

3. 




A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his 
nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

4. 




why did Santa Anna bring only 4000 troops to the Alamo?

he only had 2 cars.

5. 



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