Today's jokes [2.16.20]
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A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a
giraffe walked in.
"Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try
your luck?" replied
the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to
her. Within five
minutes they're out the door and into the night. The next day, the
lion was drinking in the
bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out,
and can hardly hold
himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink
down his throat and
said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the
giraffe, what happened
after that? Was she all right?"
The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to
dinner, had a couple
of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the
night. And oh, man!
I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so
the lion. "Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the
screwing, I must have run a
One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants,
and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his
penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor
says, "I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some
medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give you
something else." So clinton takes the perscription and takes the
pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician
then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in
3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription
he gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says,"Rub this
around the offending circle and come back tomorrow. Clinton
returns the next day and starts shouting, "Wow! That stuff was
terriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!"
The docter then calmly replied; Lipstick remover.
Sent by Bradley
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She
asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards -- something
unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -- "Happy
Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry."
The blonde replied, "How cool! I'll take the whole box!"
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his
nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
why did Santa Anna bring only 4000 troops to the Alamo?
he only had 2 cars.
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