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Today's jokes [11.6.20]

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What did the German clockmaker say to the clock that only went 'tick, tick,
tick'?

'Ve haff vays of making you tock!'

1. 




I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It
went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next
sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous
sentence." It didn't sell very well. I thought with the short attention
span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it. The
2nd edition went: "To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence."
It's doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is
going to go: "Re-read this line." Now, if I could just find the time to
write it.

2. 




How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?

Nine. One to screw in the bulb while the other 8 hold up the mirrors. 

3. 




Boss: (to employee) Experts say that humor on the job relieves tension in
this time of down-sizing. Knock, knock.

Employee: Who's there?

Boss: Not you anymore.

4. 




What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!

5. 



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