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Today's jokes [11.17.20]

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What did one gay sperm say to the other? 

I can't find my way through all this shit.

1. 




A Friend's Prayer

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who
screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

Amen

2. 




A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed:
"Come and bury my wife."

"But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker.

"I got married again," the man sobbed.

"Oh," said the undertaker. "Congratulations."

3. 




Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to 
them, "Bananas! 50 cents each or three for a dollar!"

The girls stop and look at each other. "Well I suppose we could always 
eat the third one!"

4. 




A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man's head and says, "Say, your head 
feels just like my wife's ass."

The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin, "You know, you're 
right!"

5. 



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