Today's jokes [11.14.20]

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What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?

Well, the light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

Definition of bad lover:

An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt 
the earth move. She says no.

What are the three fastest means of communication?

Internet 
Telephone 
Telawoman!

A fellow's wife was very worried about her husband's heavy drinking and 
one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white 
sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was 
in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the 
pub. It was not long before he came staggering along, and out she jumped 
from behind a headstone. "Ooooooo!" she wailed, "I am the Devil!" 

He sticks out his hand..."Put it there, pal," he says, "I am married to 
your sister."

What's the difference between a blonde and a shower?

The shower has to be turned on before it gets wet.

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