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Today's poems [10.5.20]

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               There was a young fellow named Chivy 
               Who, whenever he went to the privy, 
                    First solaced his mind, 
                    And then wiped his behind 
               With some well-chosen pages of Livy 

1. 




There once was a monkey named Spunky,
Who was always referred to as chunky.
So he went on a diet,
He shouldn't have tried it.
He became anorexic and died.


Sent by Mike F.

2. 




               A bobby of Nottingham Junction 
               Whose organ had long ceased to function 
                    Deceived his good wife 
                    For the rest of her life 
               With the aid of a constable's truncheon. 

3. 




A near-sighted chap named Coulter
Led a glamorous gal to the altar.
Quite lovely he thought her
Till some strong soap and hot water
Made her look like the rock of Gibraltar.

4. 




A frugal young fellow named Wise 
               Gets the most from the dead whores he buys. 
                    After sporting a while 
                    As a gay necrophile, 
               For dessert he has maggot surprise. 

5. 



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