Today's stories [1.14.20]
Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to story categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight"
I was at a party this weekend and a jokester, stifling a laugh said,
"Listen to this: One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to-"
At this, my Jewish friend, Al Cohen said, "Moskowitz
and Finkelstein; Moskowitz and Finkelstein; always two
Jews. Why do they have to be Jewish? Can't you tell the
joke with other nationalities involved? Why don't you
make them Chinese for a change?"
The jokester, sobered and embarrassed, said,
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend. Here's the joke:
One day, Hong-lee Yang and Mao-chen Foo were going to the
synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Hong-lee Yang's nephew..."
Super Granny - Defender Of Justice
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,
she found four males in the act of leaving with her car! She
dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun,preceded to scream
at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to
use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and
ran like mad, where upon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to
load her shopping bags in the back of the car and went back and
got into the driver's seat.
She was so shaken up that she couldn't get her key into the
ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why!
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five
spaces further down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove
to the police station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in
two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter,
where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad
elderly woman described as white, less than 5 feet tall, glasses,
and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31