Today's quotes [1.6.20]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
-- Mariah Carey
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that
he failed to pay his taxes.
"Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads.
Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum."
-- Barnes and Barnes, "Fish Heads"
"You're not playing klondike again are you?"
"No, it's a hallucination."
"Oh, ok. Put the 8 on the 9."
-- Ben Salmon, me, Ben
"Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle but the cow has failed on it's first
attempt at the moon landing!!... that's one small step for a cow, one giant
leap for the beef industry..."
-- Flacco, DAAS Kapital
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31