Today's quotes [1.10.20]
Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to quote categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.
"What do most people do on a date?"
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets
them interested enough to go for a second date."
-- Response by Mike, Age 10
"So... your place or my mother's?"
"Then again, what should we expect from the makers of 'Stargate'? Finesse
is not exactly their strong point. Sure, they're pretty good at blowing up
stuff, but what four-year-old isn't? When it comes time for an important
plot twist their solution is to look at each other and scream 'ALIEN MIND
MELD!' like dorks at a Star Trek Convention."
-- Mr. Cranky,
"Right. So nobody can print. Which is a good thing. It's a _good_ thing
that nobody can print."
"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface.
All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?"
-- Dogbert, Dilbert, Dogbert
By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31