Today's jokes [1.4.20]
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Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn
out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the
bulbs work smarter, not harder.
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he
noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her
boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the
flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after
everyone else left the church.
When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice.
"Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"
"Why reverend." the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that
they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head
between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I
don't hear any angels singing!"
"Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."
Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Because women don't get blowjobs while they're driving.
Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently
divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question
to ask and that he shouldn't ask it again.
He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that she
wouldn't answer the question and that he shouldn't ask it again.
The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced.
Once again, she told him that it was not a question he should ask
and to not ask that question again. He went away.
A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She asked
what he was doing and as he turn toward his mother, he beamingly told
her he had found all the answers to his questions by looking at her
He said, "Mother, you're 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddy
divorced you because you got an 'F' in sex."
There was once a wide mouth frog. She had babies and she didn't know what
to feed them. She went to the cow, talking with her mouth real wide, she
said, "COW, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?" The Cow said, "I feed my babies
milk." She went on to the horse. Talking with her mouth real wide, she
said, "HORSE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?" "I feed my babies hay." said
the horse. Finally she came to a snake. Talking with her mouth real wide,
she said, "SNAKE, WHAT DO YOU FEED YOUR BABIES?" The snake said, "I feed
my babies wide mouth frogs." So the frog said, with her mouth really
small, "Oh, is that so."
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