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Today's jokes [1.3.20]

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Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his 
hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his 
money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber 
shop. The barber finishes and comes back.
As Cronin hands him a twenty-dollar bill, he says, "Listen, it's...it's 
none of my business, but...why would you take a piss in the corner of your 
barber shop?"
The barber says, "Hey, my lease is up in two weeks...do I care?"
The barber goes over to the cash register, rings up the haircut, and comes 
back with Cronin's change. When he comes back, Cronin's standing there 
taking a shit on the floor.
The barber says, "What are you doing?"
Cronin says, "Well, fuck, I'm leaving now." 

1. 




How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford to
be screwed for?



2. 




What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater? 

     - "Thats the most violent book I've ever read." 

3. 




Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench.
The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL!
The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The
second little old lady had a little stroke. 

The third little old lady would have had a
stroke................but her arms weren't quite long enough. 

4. 




Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement.
Won't you fogive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart.
I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.

All my love,

Belinda.

PS Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.



5. 



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