Today's stories [9.7.19]
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This really happened and was featured on Jay Leno more than 8 years
ago...The wife of a business man was reading the morning paper while
her husband was at the office working. She was reading the divorce
decrees to see if she knew anyone there and was shocked to read her
own name as well as her husbands name in a divorce decree! When her
husband came home from work, she was very upset and asked him why
the paper said that they were getting a divorce. "Nothing to worry
about dear, must be a friend pulling a joke, I'll find out at the office
tommorrow"! He assurred her.
Assuming this was a hoax, she went about her business for the next two
days, when a summons to appear in Divorce (Federal) Court arrived for
her! When her husband returned from work that night, she was
hysterical! "What on earth is going on, who is doing this"? She
demanded to know. "I promise I will find out tommorrow"! He told her
This time she was going to ask her husband right when he got home the
next day. "So, who was it"? She asked eagerly. "Oh, it was this wierd
guy from accounting. He thought it would make a funny April Fools joke,
remember it is April now"! He calmed her with. She was now satisfied
that her husband loved her and everything was fine. The date for the
court appearance came and went, as her husband told her to disregard
it. While cleaning one afternoon, she was startled by a knock at the
door. It was her judgement for divorce notice, the divorce was final.
When she assumed her husband told her the truth, she never showed up
for the hearing, which was real and the husband won by default! He got
Sent by Signfeld2002
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said
that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
land or were we shot down?"
Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising
altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to
autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for
the rest of the flight."
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