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Today's stories [9.7.19]

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This really happened and was featured on Jay Leno more than 8 years 
ago...The wife of a business man was reading the morning paper while 
her husband was at the office working. She was reading the divorce 
decrees to see if she knew anyone there and was shocked to read her 
own name as well as her husbands name in a divorce decree! When her 
husband came home from work, she was very upset and asked him why 
the paper said that they were getting a divorce. "Nothing to worry 
about dear, must be a friend pulling a joke, I'll find out at the office 
tommorrow"! He assurred her. 

Assuming this was a hoax, she went about her business for the next two 
days, when a summons to appear in Divorce (Federal) Court arrived for 
her! When her husband returned from work that night, she was 
hysterical! "What on earth is going on, who is doing this"? She 
demanded to know. "I promise I will find out tommorrow"! He told her 

This time she was going to ask her husband right when he got home the 
next day. "So, who was it"? She asked eagerly. "Oh, it was this wierd 
guy from accounting. He thought it would make a funny April Fools joke, 
remember it is April now"! He calmed her with. She was now satisfied 
that her husband loved her and everything was fine. The date for the 
court appearance came and went, as her husband told her to disregard 
it. While cleaning one afternoon, she was startled by a knock at the 
door. It was her judgement for divorce notice, the divorce was final. 
When she assumed her husband told her the truth, she never showed up 
for the hearing, which was real and the husband won by default! He got 

Sent by Signfeld2002


An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."  He said
that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart 
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
land or were we shot down?"


Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising
altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to
autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for
the rest of the flight."


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