Today's jokes [9.5.19]
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A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family
doctor. "Young lady," the doctor began, "you're pregnant."
"But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and
in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes."
"Well my dear," said the doctor, "someone in that colony is
A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"
What happened to the Pope when he visited Mount Olive?
- Popeye almost killed him.
Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses
were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to
the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt
The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"
Billy Ray and Billie Bob are driving home from a party. BR runs a red
light. BB says, "Hey! What the fuck are you doing! That light was red!"
BR replies, "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time, it's OK."
Then he does it again.
BB: " Damn it, you done it again!"
BR: "It's OK, I tell you. My brother does it all the time."
The next light is green. BR slams on the brakes.
BB: "Where did you learn to drive? That was green. You are supposed to go
BR: "Well I would have, but my brother might be coming through!
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