Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [8.2.19]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish
funeral?

One less drunk.

1. 




A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a
   few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to
   handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem:
   she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species
   available.
   
   While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed
   Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Now
   Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female,
   and he wasn't very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they
   might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the
   female gorilla. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be
   willing to screw the gorilla--for five hundred bucks? Mike replied
   that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.
   
   The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer,
   but only under three conditions:
   
   "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her," and "Second, I
   want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this
   union."
   
   The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what
   could be the third?
   
   "Well," said Mike, "You've gotta give me another week to come up with
   the five hundred bucks."
   


2. 




What's the best thing about turning 65?

No more calls from insurance salesmen.


3. 




Santa comes once a year - but when he does he fills your stocking!


4. 




The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were 
beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of 
passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to
whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"
Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you 
are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always 
ask the same old ridiculous questions."

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 August '19 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
            1  2  3  
4  5  6  7  8  9  10 
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 
25 26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.