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Today's jokes [8.13.19]

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What is a man's idea of protected sex?

A padded headboard.


What is the definition of an overbite?

When you go down on a girl and come up with a mouth full of shit. 


Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95.
Isaac is incredulous. 'Pop,' he says, 'you can't run Windows 95 on your
old, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with a
minimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with 
Windows 95.'
But Abraham, the man of faith, gazed calmly at his son and replied, 'God
will provide the RAM, my son'.


SAT score decay

As we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.
The following may be the reason why.

A math problem in the 60's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this 
price. What is his profit?

A math problem in the 70's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of porduction is four-fifths of this 
price, or $80. What is his profit?

A math problem in the 70's using New Math
A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100, 
and each element is worth $1. Make 100 dots representing the elements of set M. The set C of 
the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set M, and answer the following question: 
What is the cardinality of the set P of profits?

A math problem in the 80's
A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is 
$20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.

A math problem in the 90's under Outcome Based Education.
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of 
living? (Topic for class participation: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?)


Don was looking for a little "action."  He picked up a sweet young thang 
at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. 
Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. 
After six times, she was screaming for more.  After the *eighth* time, Don 
told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped in the men's room. He stood in front of the 
urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find his 
dick.  After a couple of minutes of "fishing around," he finally said, 
"Look, it's ok.  She's not here!"


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