Today's stories [7.15.19]
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NOTE: I don't know how anyone could write this with a straight face!
This was an actual memo sent at an unnamed computer company to its
employees. It went to all the company's field engineers, and it was in
regard to a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was
quite serious; the engineers rolled on the floor! (Especially note the
INSTRUCTIONS FOR REPLACING MOUSE BALLS
Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically,
it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this
procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by
properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the
underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than
Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the
mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic
balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.
Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling
can result in sudden discharge.
Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining
optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should
contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry.
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "goodnight, sleep tight"
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