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Today's stories [7.1.19]

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Bumper sticker seen on a stealth bomber:

     "If you can read this, then we wasted 50 billion bucks." 

1. 




After my recent breakup and the hell I went through, 
I quickly dropped a few pounds. Not quite Ally-McBeal- 
thin but close. I ran into a friend of mine who was surprised at 
the quick change and commented, "Damn, you've lost a lot of 
weight". My response to him,  "Yep, lost 220 pounds of fat 
German bastard".

2. 




My brother was driving down the road that leads to 
you "Country Estate", all twenty acres of it. He saw a young person 
wearing a tee shirt and jeans walking along the side of the road 
and, as is to be expected in the rural areas of a few years past, 
offered this person a lift. The kid got in the car. Now, this was a 
bright, sunshinny day and my brother got a good look at the kid he 
picked up. He said "You live down this way, son?" The kid looked at 
my 50-year-old brother and asked "What's the matter, pops? Forget 
what a girl looks like?"

3. 



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