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Today's jokes [7.6.19]

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What goes in and out and smells of piss?

The Queen Mother

1. 




Q: How do you give a woman an orgasm?
A: Who Cares!


2. 




Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common?

A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!


3. 




Special High Intensity Teaching



Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well
taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any 
other school. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. 
on the course, please see your lecturer.  You will be immediately placed 
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled
at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).  Those who fail to 
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE 
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).  Since our lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they 
graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of 
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
teaching others.  We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).


Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)



4. 




Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies 
realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth 
control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her 
prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked. 
"I've got people waiting in my car!" 



5. 



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