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Today's jokes [7.4.19]

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How do you confuse a blond?
You don't, they're born that way. 


1. 




A police officer arrives at an accident scene where
apparently three blondes have leaped to their death
from a very tall building... he suddenly notices that
one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks:
"why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out
of that building?"
The blond answers in a very weak voice: "we wanted to
try out our new maxi-pads with wings"...

2. 




The owner of a small crossroads store in South Carolina was appointed 
postmaster. Over six months went by and not one piece of mail left towm. 
Deeply concerned, postal authorities in Washington wrote the postmaster to 
inquire why.
They received this short and simple explantion: "The bag ain't full yet."

3. 




There was three guys, one with a rubber dick, one with a wooden dick,
and one with a nine foot dick.
The guy with the rubber dick couldn't have sex because it wasn't hard.
The guy with the wooden dick couldn't have sex because the other
person would get splinters. 
Finally, the third guy with a nine foot dick says, "See that girl over
there? Bam. Got her." 

4. 




Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only catch him sitting 
on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of 
fucking his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection 
with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny 
asked curiously "What ya doin' dad?"
His father qiuckly replied "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.", 
to which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"

5. 



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