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Today's jokes [7.1.19]

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How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style
 
Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing
out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of
whatever is left.  Professors of mathematics prove the
existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of
an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate
students.

Sent by Alex 

1. 




The police have rounded up some suspects for a identification line up for 
a rape suspect. When the lady walks in to pick out the suspect the guy 
shouts,"That's her! That's her!"

2. 




A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's car
is total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,
dirt and blood.  He asks his friend,
"What's happened to your car?"

"Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer".

"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about 
the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?"

"Well, I had to chase him all through the park."

3. 




A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good,"says the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled
with food if you should call."

4. 




Does anyone know what would happen if the earth rotated 30 times faster than
it does today ??

We would get our paycheck everyday, and all women would bleed to death...

5. 



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