Today's quotes [5.10.19]
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Going to war without France is like going
deer hunting without your accordion."
Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
I can't even get into my own pants.
I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends
told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything
that feels good for 36 hours.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol content.
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