Today's poems [5.16.19]
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There was a young lad from Nahant
Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
When asked, "Do you fuck?"
He replied, "No such luck.
I would if I could but I can't."
There once was a lass from Seattle
Who had a habit of sucking off cattle,
'Till a bull from the south
Shot a load in her mouth
And made her ovaries rattle!
There once was a man from Dundee
Who was fucking an ape in a tree.
The results were most horrid:
All ass and no forehead,
Three balls and a purple goatee!
There was a young lady named White
Found herself in a terrible plight:
A mucker named Tucker
Had struck her, the fucker---
The bugger, the bastard, the shite!
An innocent boy in Lapland
Was told that friggin' was grand.
But at his first trial
He said with a smile,
"I've had the same feeling by hand."
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