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Today's poems [4.9.19]

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The Very Very Untitled Poem

 To you I write this poem of nonsense
 My back is aching, my shoulders, tense
 My R.S.I. is D.O.A.
 Q.E.D. I.Q. O.K.
 My temper frayed, about to snap
 I am the king of talking crap
 I try to do the best I can
I`m worse than David Letterman!

 I watch TV to ease the friction
 Of this internet addiction
 But to my dismay, I find
 I cannot leave the net behind
 The world wide web calls to me
 Like a mermaid siren in the cyber-sea.
 
 Like watching "Twin Peaks", I`ve lost 
the plot
 I`ve been writing for weeks and this 
is all I got.
 With liquid refreshment as my 
inspiration
 Just cider that`s been through 
refrigeration
 Talkin` `bout my generation.

 Pen to paper. Fingers on the keyboard.
 Makes no difference. I`m still bored.
 Light goes on if you pull the cord
 Which payment plan can I afford?

 Eat ice cream with some toffee fudge
 "Robot" is the Czech word for "drudge".
 I, robot. I scream!

 Never mind. It doesn`t matter
 I eat and drink and just get fatter
 Excuse my ramblings. Now, I`ll cease.
 And leave you lot in peace ;~)

  1999 Peter Hughes


Sent by Pete Hughes

1. 




A lecherous fellow named Babbitt 
Asked a girl if she'd fuck or would nab it. 
Said she, "From long habit 
I fuck like a rabbit, 
So I'd rather cohabit than grab it." 

2. 




When Betty eats sphaghetti
She slurps, she slurps, she slurps,
And when she's finished slurping
She burps, she burps, she burps

Sent by Farah

3. 




There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

4. 




Said a girl being had in a shanty, 
"My dear, you have got it in slanty." 
He replied, "I can use 
Any angle I choose. 
I ride as I please---I'm Duranty!" 

5. 



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