Today's poems [3.9.19]
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There once was a bishop from Nottingham
Who stood on a bridge down in Birmingham.
He watched all the stunts
Of the cunts in the punts
And the tricks of the pricks that were fucking
There was an old girl from the Azores
whos cunt was covered in sores
even the dogs in the street
wouldn't sniff the green meat
that hung in great chunks
from her drawers
There was a young man of Datchet
Who cut off his prick with a hatchet.
Then very politely
He sent it to Whitely,
And ordered a cunt that would match it.
"There is a young girl here at Vassar
And none, for your needs, could surpass her.
But she cannot detach it
And much less dispatch it.
You'll still have to bach it. Alas, sir!"
The ancient orthographer, Chisholm.
Caused a lexicographical schism
When he asked to know whether
"Twere known which was better
To use "g" or "j" to spell "jism."
A proper young lady of Taos
Had her panties trimmed neatly with lace.
But a vulgar young man
Raped her roughly, and ran,
And left them pure panties in chaos.
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