Today's poems [3.5.19]
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On his honeymoon sailing the ocean
A tightwad displayed much emotion
When he learned, one fine day,
He'd been fucking away
What could have been bottled as lotion.
There was a young man from Peru
Whose lineage was noble all through.
Now this isn't crud
For not only his blood
But even his semen was blue.
A gardener named Kenneth McDeare
Likes plants more than women, we fear.
"He's hardly perennial."
Say folks who know Kenny well.
"He only comes up once a year"
There was a young rump from Ra-cine
Whose bot-tom was in-ter-est-ing-ly keen.
No wig-gle or shook
It was hard as a book,
When it blos-somed I sqirt-ed my bean.
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandmother too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!
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