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Today's jokes [3.5.19]

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A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once
Upon A Time?"
And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin 
with 'If Elected I promise...'"

1. 




When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breasts...


In high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no 
passion.. 
So I decided I needed a passionate girl.. 


In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.. 
Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I 
needed a girl with some stability.. 
 
I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited 
about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.. 


I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed 
from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was
directionless. 
So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.. 
 
After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so 
ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.. 


Now all I want is a girl with big breasts..

2. 




This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the 
blonde said to her boyfriend,
"Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?"

3. 




   Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by.
   The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!"
   One banana turns to the other banana and says, "Do you believe that
   shit?"
   


4. 




A hunchback is running along a street being chased by a pack of children.
He stops, turns around and shouts, "Will you all get lost! I haven't got 
your bloody ball!"

5. 



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