Today's jokes [3.10.19]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the
car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice
your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really
indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are
glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to
collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale.
"No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to
convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her
"No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!"
Scientists have just discovered something that can
do the work of five men: a woman.
Why do gay men have moustaches?
To hide the stretchmarks.
Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
Finger on chin I don't know.
Hits forehead Oh I get it!
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30