Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's stories [2.5.19]

Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.


I was on a Reno Air flight from San Jose to Las Vegas and the 
plane was taxiing to take off. The flight attendant came on the 
intercom and said, "For those of you currently reading our in-
flight magazine, please place it back in the seat pocket in front 
of you, as it is for IN-FLIGHT only." Later on, once we were 
airborne, he came back and said, "If you're sitting on the right 
side of the plane, look out the window and you will see big, 
white, fluffy clouds. If you're on the left side of the plane, you'll 
see ... big, white, fluffy clouds. Directly beneath you is...your 
luggage."

Once we landed, he told us to remain seated with our seatbelts 
fastened until we were fully stopped at the gate. Just as we 
were about to reach the gate, he said, "Don't even think about 
it!" He also said, "We have a man onboard who is celebrating 
his 100th birthday and this is his first flight! It is also probably 
his last flight." ('Boo's' from the passengers.) "So please, when 
you walk by the cockpit , wish the pilot a happy birthday."



1. 




Tech Support:    "All right...now double-click
on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because
of the icons.-I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe
in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'.
I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little
picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]

2. 




Actual Police Accounts
The woman in question, a cute blonde as it happens, was pulled over for 
speeding by a California Highway Patrol motorcycle officer. When he walked 
up to her window and opened his ticket book she said: "I bet you're going 
to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "No, 
highway patrolmen don't have balls."
There followed a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what 
he'd said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. 
She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD





By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 February '19 Stories Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
               1  2  
3  4  5  6  7  8  9  
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 
24 25 26 27 28 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.