Today's poems [2.6.19]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
There was a young lady of Maine
Who declared she'd a man on her brain.
But you knew from the view
Of her waist as it grew
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.
There was a young fellow from Florida
Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
When they got into bed,
He cried, "God strike me dead,
This ain't a cunt, it's a corridor!"
Oh, that supple young man of Montrose
Who tickled his tail with his toes!
His landlady said,
As she made up his bed,
"My God! How that man blows his nose!"
I fell in love with a dry martini
But now she`s gone
And passed away...
Or rather, passed right through me.
After that, I drank some coffee
I found sobriety
She made me high
She gave me kicks
She made me ill
I was only six!
© 1989 Peter Hughes.
Sent by Pete Hughes
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was slightly grey.
It didn't have a father,
Just some borrowed DNA.
It sort of had a mother,
Though the ovum was on loan.
It was not so much a lambkin
As a little lamby clone.
And soon it had a fellow clone,
And soon it had some more.
It made the children laugh and sing,
The teachers found it droll;
There were too many lamby clones
For Mary to control.
No other could control the sheep
Since their programs didn't vary,
So the scientists resolved it all
By simply cloning Mary.
But now they feel quite sheepish,
Those scientists unwary.
One problem solved, but what to do
With Mary, Mary, Mary?
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28