Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  

Today's poems [2.5.19]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Email Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

There once was a lass from Kilbride,
who lost her vibrator inside,
she went to the doctor to see it
and so he decided to free it

He opened her up
and filled her with grease,
he pulled on the base
and out it did ease

Now she's got a husband,
the dildo is no use,
the only problem is for him,
her pussy feels too loose

Sent by Dan


Mary had a little lamb,
its coat was full of fleas,
but even worse the little crap,
had foot and mouth desease

Sent by Jono



I've been sat here hours,
my eyes are feeling sore,
I'm staying up all night,
because I'm looking to score.

The Net causes frustration,
because I can't get sex for free,
I search and search for hours,
but I need a credit card to see.

I bought myself a web cam,
so I can chat and play,
but I don't see any ladies,
so I wish that I was gay.

Is there anyone out there,
who is as lonely as me?
staring at my screen,
I wish that I could see

Hang on - who is this?
It is a female figure,
she looks like my Grandma,
but my Grandma is slimmer.

She says her name is Helga,
so I ask about the weather,
but she thinks I'm a bore,
because I'm not into leather.

I start to look for more,
by now, I know the score,
but Sarah B won't answer
and Lisa X is busy.

But wait - I must be dreaming,
I see a blonde lady,
I smile at her picture
and she smiles back at me.

She speaks, but I can't hear,
She hears but now can't see,
I think my PC's broken,
Why does this happen to me?

She is looking puzzled
and I can't seem to fix it
but I can't wait to start,
I guess I'll have to risk it.

I think I am in love,
I hope she feels the same,
Oh, damn my PC's crashed !
But boy, how I just came !

Sent by ANON


There was a gay dog from Ontario 
            Who fancied himself a Lothario. 
                At a wench's glance 
                He'd snatch off his pants 
            And make for her Mons Venerio. 


               There was an old fellow from Roop 
               Who'd lost all control of his poop. 
                    One evening at supper 
                    His wife said, "Now, Tupper, 
               Stop making that noise with your soup!" 


BONUS! A random poem from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Jokes
Today's Stories
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 February '19 Poems Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
               1  2  
3  4  5  6  7  8  9  
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 
24 25 26 27 28 

Jump to  

For any questions or comments email us at
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.