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Today's jokes [2.6.19]

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The medical student was asked four reasons why mother's
milk was better for babies than cow's milk. 
This is the answer he submitted: 
1. It's fresher. 
2. It's cleaner. 
3. The cats can't get to it. 
4. It's easier to take on a picnic. 
He also added: "It comes in such cute containers."  


1. 




A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long
flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if
he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so
he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta
fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer,
I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to
sleep. The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know
the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you
$50!"

This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment
unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Programmer asks the first
question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Engineer
doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar
bill and hands it to the Programmer.

Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The Programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop
computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with
his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress.

Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer
politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The Programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks
"Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Programmer
$5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

2. 




A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her
ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt
and the phone rang - but instead of picking up
the phone I accidentally picked up the iron
and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But. what happened to your other ear?"
"The son of a bitch called back."

3. 




What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?

He put it on. 

4. 




Lorena Bobbitt had just cut off her husband's penis. She was driving down 
the road, wondering what to do with it, when the thought struck her to 
toss it out the window. The penis bounced off the windscreen of the car 
travelling in the opposite direction.
"Shit," said the driver to his passenger. "What kind of bug was that?"
"Dunno," he replied. "But did you see the size of the cock on it?!"

5. 



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