Today's jokes [12.2.19]

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A Short History of Medicine



I have an earache...

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen.  Here, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition.  Here, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil.  Here, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective.  Here, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial.  Here, eat this root.

Q.  what do you get when a chicken cross the road falls in the dirt and then rec
rosses
A. a dirty crosser

Sent by Corey

Vicar: Whats that you're doing, Tommy?
Tommy: Sticking bangers up frogs arses, Vicar.
Vicar: Rectum, Tommy.
Tommy: Blows 'em to fucking pieces, Vicar! 

"Say, how old are you anyway ?" the reporter asked as the
obviously young lass was disrobing.

"Thirteen." she replied with a shy smile.

"Thirteen ??? My God girl !!! You get those clothes back on at
once and get the hell outta here ! Are you crazy ?" he thundered.

Pausing briefly at the door as she left, the perplexed nymphet
smiled and said, "Superstitious, huh ?"

Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. 
She immediately called Saint Peter and said, 

"This is Sister Margaret. There's been a terrible mistake!" 

She explained the situation, and Saint Peter said he'd get right on
it. The next day the nun didn't hear from Saint Peter so she called him 
again. "Please set this error straight before tomorrow," she begged. 

"There's an orgy planned for tonight, and everyone *must* attend!" 

"Of course, Sister," he said. "I'll get you out of there right away." 

Apparently, her plight slipped his mind, and the following morning 
Saint Peter received another phone call from hell. He picked up 
the receiver with tribulations of his heart and started to listen.

He heard the following, "Hey, Pete, this is Maggie. Never mind!"

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