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Today's jokes [11.3.19]

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   This little boy and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad pulls out a
   beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?"
   
   Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to
   which the little boy responds "No."
   
   "Then you can't have one."
   
   A while later, the granddad pulls out a cigar and the boy asks, "Can I
   have on of those?"
   
   Grandpa says "Is your penis big enough to touch your asshole?" to
   which the little boy responds "No."
   
   "Then you can't have one."
   
   Later on, Grandpa and Grandson go to the grocery store for food and
   each buy a lottery ticket. Grandpa is unlucky, but the little boy says
   "I just won $50,000"
   
   Grandpa says, "Great, your going to split that with me, right?"
   
   The little boy asks, "Grandpa, is your penis long enough to touch your
   asshole?"
   
   "Yes," Says grandpa.
   
   "Then go fuck yourself"
   


1. 




Q:  Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?

A:  They both have, "incert Bill"!

Sent by Gabriel

2. 




Nancy Reagan is the celebrity contestant on Password. 
It's her turn to guess the word. 
Voice Over: And the password is. . . black dick! 
Nancy: Um. . . is it a place? 
Her partner: No. 
Nancy: Is it a person? 
Her partner: No. 
Nancy: Hmm, then it must be a thing. Um, is it something I
might want to eat? 
Her partner, exasperated: Well, I dunno, maybe. 
Nancy: Is it black dick?

3. 




A divorced woman had been on her own for several months and was
starting to get extremely horny. She went to the grocery store and while 
there starting eyeing the bag boy. On the way out to the car she decided to 
make her move. Leaning over to the boy she whispered," You know, I've 
got and itchy pussy...." 

The boy replied, "Well you're gonna have to point it out, ma'am, all 
those Japanese cars look alike to me!"

4. 




Two Amish women were out picking potatoes in the field when one of them 
picked up two huge potatoes and said "These potatoes remind me of Emil's 
balls"

"Are they that big?" asked the other.

"No they're this dirty." 

5. 



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