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Today's jokes [11.2.19]

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Do you know the problem with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and the rest of us don't
think they're jokes!

1. 




What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.

2. 




John pulled over the car by the side of the road and 
showed Brian where he'd first had sex.
"It was right down there by that tree.  I remember the day 
plainly.  It was a warm summer day.  She and I were so much 
in love.  We walked down to the tree and made love for hours,"
"That sounds wonderful," said Brian.
"Yes.  It was ok until I looked up and noticed her mother was 
standing right there watching us."
"Oh my God!!!  What did her mother say when she saw you
making love to her daughter?"
"Baaaaaaa."

3. 




How do you piss your girlfriend of when your having sex?

Call her up

4. 




Q: Why did Marshall Applewhite insist that his follwers be castrated?

A: He heard that to be really successful on the Internet you have to work
with UNIX.

5. 



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