Today's stories [10.3.19]
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The White House says President Clinton will make a speech on
campaign finance reform today in California. Says Argus Hamilton,
"The exact time hasn't been announced. Aides are still trying to
fit it in between fund-raisers."
Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road
and hit a tree near Cotton Plant on State Highway 38 early Monday morning
Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are
listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.
The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a
cat-gigging trip. (Note to city slickers, cat-gigging, or cat-sticking,
is how, armed with a small pitchfork), you catch cats from the bayou bank.
Cats make a tasty supper.
On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had
burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the
.22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to
the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again
began to operate and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White
After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river,
the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right
testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and
striking the tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions, but will
require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken
clavicle and was treated and released.
Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off or we
might now be dead, 'said Wallis.
"I've been a trooper for I0 years in this part of the world," said Deputy
Snyder, "but this is a first for me. I cant believe that those two would
admit how the accident happened."
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavina, Poole's wife, asked how many cats
the boys had caught, and did anyone think to get them from the truck.
The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what
I looked for in a woman.
Naturally I replied, "Big tits."
He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."
So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."
"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you
want to spend the rest of your life with?"
He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch
laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one
woman? No woman's tits are that big."
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