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Today's jokes [10.3.19]

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This guy runs home and bursts in yelling, "Pack your bags honey, I
   just won the lottery!"
   She says, "Oh wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the
   mountains?"
   He replies, "I don't care...Just get the f**k out!"


1. 




For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was 
volatile.  Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no 
longer a Russian, but had become a Pole.   Thrilled, he told his 

wife, "Thank God !  No more of those freezing Russian 
winters."

2. 




Q: What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand?
A: Kermit's undivided attention.


3. 




   This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years
   ago that I lost my dear wife and children.
   
   I'll never forget that game of cards...
   


4. 




How big is Bill Clinton's Penis? 

     Not as big as Hillary's 

5. 



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