Today's jokes [1.7.19]
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I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot.
It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there:
They have no wife to go home to...
or they do.
Should I have a baby after 35?
No, 35 children is enough.
How do you know Monica Lewinsky is Jewish?
If she wasn't,she wouldn't have stained her dress.
Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to
their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, "Honey, I
want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go." "Good
idea," she says. "While you're in there, pick me up some
The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the
clerk, "I'd like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine,
"Yes sir, says the clerk, "but do you mind if I ask you a
question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?"
When I stopped the bus to pick up little five year old Chris for
preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.
"Is that your grandmother?" I asked Chris when he boarded.
"Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."
"How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"
"At the airport," Chris replied.
"Whenever we want her we just go out there and get her."
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