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Today's jokes [1.5.19]

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There was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard some noise, so he 
looked inside, and lo and behold there was an Indian down in the hole.
The cowboy said, "How long have you been down there?"
The Indian replied, "Many moons."

1. 




We've all heared that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters
will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare.  Now, thanks to
the internet, we know this is not true.

2. 




You know why there's a string on a tampon? So the crabs can bungee jump.

3. 




   Camel Died
   A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the dessert. After a few
   days the camel falls
   over dead. After looking over the situation the priest figures neither
   one of them will
   survive the rest of the journey.
   The priest asks the nun "I have never seen a woman's breasts, and at
   this point it probably
   wouldn't matter much, so could I see yours?" The nun agrees and shows
   him her breasts.
   "May I touch them?" The nun allows him to. The priest comments
   sincerely how
   wonderful they are. The nun then asks "Father, I have never seen a
   man's penis before,
   could you show me yours? The priest drops his drawers.
   "May I touch it?" After she fondles his penis for a minute he sports a
   huge erection. The
   priest says, "you know if I place my penis in the proper place it can
   give life!" "Is that
   right" the nun replies?
   "Yes," says the priest.
   So the nun said: "Then why don't you stick it up that camels ass and
   lets get the hell out of
   here!"
   


4. 




Why is the government like a prostitute?

                                 Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!

5. 



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