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Today's jokes [9.11.18]

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A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man's head and says, "Say, your head 
feels just like my wife's ass."

The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin, "You know, you're 
right!"

1. 




What is long, black, and smelly? 

- The unemployment line.

2. 




What do Marriage and a Tornado have in common? 

Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking,
and then next thing you know your house is gone!

3. 




A doctor's advice to young bride regarding the use of the diaphragm: 

"Use it on every conceivable occasion."

4. 




A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed:
"Come and bury my wife."

"But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker.

"I got married again," the man sobbed.

"Oh," said the undertaker. "Congratulations."

5. 



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