Today's stories [8.9.18]
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Noted Dough Boy Dies
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday
of a severe yeast infection He was 71. He was buried Friday
in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of
celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the
Hostess Twinkies The graveside was piled high with flours,
as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy,
describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie,
and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still,
even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children,
and... one in the oven.
A mother in Pittsburgh tells of having dinner with her little son and
daughter. It had been a long, trying day at home, and her husband was
still at the office. Both children were fussy and didn't want to eat,
and her patience had reached it's limit. She looked up and sighed, "Oh,
God, help me with these children." Immediately her four-year-old
daughter bowed her head and was silent. The mother was delighted,
thinking the girl was asking God to help her be good. But then the girl
looked up at her and said, "I just asked Him not to help you."
from "Faith, Hope and Hilarity: The Child's Eye View
of Religion" by Dick Van Dyke
[Unknown, 25 March 1993]
A Vapid Death: A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being
blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no
mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his
system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a
couple other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It
appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing from the poisonous
cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his
windows opened it wouldn't have been fatal but the man was shut up in his
near airtight bedroom. He was ``...a big man with a huge capacity for
creating [this deadly gas].'' Three of the rescue workers got sick and
one was hospitalized.
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